{"id":646,"date":"2021-01-11T17:18:13","date_gmt":"2021-01-11T16:18:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/?p=646"},"modified":"2021-01-11T17:18:14","modified_gmt":"2021-01-11T16:18:14","slug":"hayir-demek","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/?p=646","title":{"rendered":"#”hay\u0131r” demek"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u00c7ocuk kendisinin ve \u00f6tekinin s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 oldu\u011funu kendisine s\u0131n\u0131r konduk\u00e7a anlayabilir ve bunlar\u0131 fark edebilir. Bir\u00e7ok konuda oldu\u011fu gibi s\u0131n\u0131r koyma konusu da zamanla \u015fekil de\u011fi\u015ftiren, \u00e7ocuk ve bak\u0131m vereni aras\u0131ndaki ili\u015fkide kendi rengini bulacak bir konu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Winnicott Ebeveynlerle Sohbet kitab\u0131nda \u00e7ocu\u011fa hay\u0131r deme s\u00fcrecini \u00fc\u00e7 b\u00f6l\u00fcme ay\u0131rarak anlat\u0131yor. Bu \u00fc\u00e7 b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc birbirinden ayr\u0131\u015ft\u0131ran \u015fey \u00e7ocu\u011fun b\u00fcy\u00fcmesi ve kavrama becerisinin geli\u015fmesi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bu a\u015famalar\u0131n ilkinde s\u00f6ze yer yoktur, bebe\u011fe hay\u0131r denmez \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc zaten bebek bunu anlamaz. T\u00fcm yetki bak\u0131m verendedir, b\u00f6yle de olmas\u0131 gerekir. \u00c7ocu\u011fun ailenin sa\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 denetime ihtiyac\u0131 vard\u0131r ve bu ihtiya\u00e7 ortadan kalkana kadar da (yani eri\u015fkin hale gelene kadar) \u00e7ocu\u011fa kar\u015f\u0131 olan bu sorumluluk azalarak da olsa devam eder.
\u0130lk ba\u015flarda annenin ve bir s\u00fcre sonra da anne-baban\u0131n g\u00f6revi beklenmedik \u015feyleri fark etmek ve bunlar\u0131n \u00e7ocu\u011fun ba\u015f\u0131na gelmesini engellemektir. Bunlar d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnsel boyutta ya\u015fanmaz, yani anne-baban\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmesine \u00e7ok gerek olacak bir durum yoktur, genel bir davran\u0131\u015f tarz\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7erir. K\u0131saca bu s\u00fcre\u00e7 boyunca ebeveynler \u201chay\u0131r\u201d\u0131 bebe\u011fe de\u011fil, d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyaya s\u00f6yler gibidirler. Sanki bak\u0131m verenler bebe\u011fi bir dairenin i\u00e7inde tutmaktad\u0131r, d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyaya bu daireye yakla\u015fmamas\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylerler ve i\u00e7erideki bebe\u011fi korumak i\u00e7in d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyan\u0131n bu dairenin s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fmas\u0131na izin vermezler (Winnicott).
Bu a\u015famada her an t\u00fcm\u00fc ile sorumlu olan ebeveyn oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in istenmeyen herhangi bir \u015fey oldu\u011funda kendisini su\u00e7lamas\u0131 da normaldir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ebeveynler korkarsa bu s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 korumalar\u0131 zorla\u015f\u0131r. D\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyada ne oldu\u011fundan ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z, bu s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 korumay\u0131 sa\u011flayacak olan ebeveynlerin sakin kalabilmesidir. (6 numaral\u0131 # bebek-\u00e7ocuk postunda bundan biraz bahsetmi\u015ftim.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130lk zamanlardaki bu s\u0131k\u0131 korumadan sonra, bir noktada d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnya bu s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n i\u00e7ine girmeye ba\u015flar, bu beklendik bir durumdur, gereklidir, normaldir. Bu an gelene kadar korunan \u00e7ocuk art\u0131k iki \u015feyi yapabilmeye ba\u015flar: Ba\u015f\u0131na gelen \u015feylerle ba\u015f etme yollar\u0131 geli\u015ftirebilir ve hatta beklenmeyenleri \u00f6ng\u00f6rebilir.
Bu ikinci a\u015famada \u00e7ocu\u011fa hay\u0131r denmeye ba\u015flan\u0131r. \u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc a\u015famada ise a\u00e7\u0131klamalar da devreye girer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bunlara devam edece\u011fim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foto\u011fraf, Caroline Grondin, Unsplash<\/a>.<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00c7ocuk kendisinin ve \u00f6tekinin s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 oldu\u011funu kendisine s\u0131n\u0131r konduk\u00e7a anlayabilir ve bunlar\u0131 fark edebilir. Bir\u00e7ok konuda oldu\u011fu gibi s\u0131n\u0131r koyma konusu da zamanla \u015fekil de\u011fi\u015ftiren, \u00e7ocuk ve bak\u0131m vereni aras\u0131ndaki ili\u015fkide kendi rengini bulacak bir konu. Winnicott Ebeveynlerle Sohbet kitab\u0131nda \u00e7ocu\u011fa hay\u0131r deme s\u00fcrecini \u00fc\u00e7 b\u00f6l\u00fcme ay\u0131rarak anlat\u0131yor. Bu \u00fc\u00e7 b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc birbirinden ayr\u0131\u015ft\u0131ran \u015fey \u00e7ocu\u011fun […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":648,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[25],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=646"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":649,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/646\/revisions\/649"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/648"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}