{"id":552,"date":"2020-12-13T21:36:29","date_gmt":"2020-12-13T20:36:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/?p=552"},"modified":"2020-12-13T21:36:30","modified_gmt":"2020-12-13T20:36:30","slug":"ebeveyn4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/?p=552","title":{"rendered":"ebeveyn4"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.1-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-553\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.1-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.1-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.1-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.1-620x620.jpg 620w, https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.1.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.2-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-554\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.2-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.2-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.2-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.2-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.2-620x620.jpg 620w, https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Post23.2.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Ebeveynlig\u0306in mu\u0308kemmel deg\u0306il, Winnicott&#8217;un deyimiyle &#8220;yeterince iyi&#8221; olmas\u0131 yeterlidir. Hatalar ve kusurlar olur, olmal\u0131d\u0131r da, c\u0327u\u0308nku\u0308 bebeklerin\/c\u0327ocuklar\u0131n bas\u0327ar\u0131l\u0131 ve bas\u0327ar\u0131s\u0131z olabilen, gu\u0308c\u0327lu\u0308 ve zay\u0131f olabilen, dog\u0306ru ve yanl\u0131s\u0327 yapabilen kis\u0327ilere ihtiyac\u0327lar\u0131 vard\u0131r. Hayat yolculuklar\u0131nda mekanik bir mu\u0308kemmellikten deg\u0306il, bundan yararlan\u0131rlar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kritik olan, mu\u0308mku\u0308n oldug\u0306unca tutarl\u0131 ve o\u0308ngo\u0308ru\u0308lebilir olmak. Dig\u0306er tu\u0308rlu\u0308su\u0308 c\u0327ocukta kafa kar\u0131s\u0327\u0131kl\u0131g\u0306\u0131 yarat\u0131r. &#8220;Bunun ic\u0327in de kendimiz olmam\u0131z gerekir. Kendimiz oldug\u0306umuzda c\u0327ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z bizi tan\u0131yabilirler. Rol yap\u0131yorsak bir gu\u0308n mutlaka makyajs\u0131z yakalan\u0131r\u0131z ve gerc\u0327ek kis\u0327ilig\u0306imiz ortaya c\u0327\u0131kar&#8221; (Winnicott).<br>Burada \u201ckendisi olma&#8221; konusu sahneye c\u0327\u0131k\u0131yor yine. Bunun olmas\u0131 so\u0308ylemesi kadar kolay olsa bu kadar u\u0308stu\u0308nde durulmazd\u0131. Acaba anne ve baba kendilerini ne kadar ve nas\u0131l tan\u0131ml\u0131yorlar? Neye k\u0131zar neye u\u0308zu\u0308lu\u0308r neye sevinir neye dayanamaz ne sever ne sevmez ne ister ne istemezler? Anne-babadan beklenen duygular\u0131n\u0131n olmamas\u0131 deg\u0306il (zaten bu mu\u0308mku\u0308n mu\u0308 ki?), onlar\u0131 davran\u0131s\u0327a do\u0308kmeyip, kontrol edebilmeleri. Yine, so\u0308ylemesi yapmas\u0131ndan kolay olan bir konu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ayn\u0131 zamanda bebek\/c\u0327ocuk ne olursa olsun orada olan, ne olursa olsun ilis\u0327kide kalan bir figu\u0308re ihtiyac\u0327 duyar. Eg\u0306er c\u0327ocuk anne-babas\u0131n\u0131 yan\u0131nda hisseder, ne olursa olsun orada olacaklar\u0131na gu\u0308venir, ihtiyac\u0327 duydug\u0306unda onlar\u0131 bulabilir, yok olmalar\u0131ndan ya da misilleme yapmalar\u0131ndan korkmayarak onlara k\u0131zabilir, tepkisini go\u0308sterebilirse kendi ruhsall\u0131g\u0306\u0131na c\u0327ok daha rahat alan bulur ve gelis\u0327ir. Tabii ebeveynler aras\u0131ndaki ilis\u0327kinin c\u0327og\u0306unlukla sakin olmas\u0131n\u0131n o\u0308nemi de unutulmamal\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>O c\u0327ocuklar bir gu\u0308n ic\u0327ine dog\u0306duklar\u0131 evden c\u0327\u0131kacak, bas\u0327ka ortamlara girecek, bas\u0327ka dinamiklerle tan\u0131s\u0327acak, aile ic\u0327inde yas\u0327ad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 d\u0131s\u0327ar\u0131da tekrarlayacak\/c\u0327o\u0308zmeye c\u0327al\u0131s\u0327acak, oralarda da c\u0327es\u0327itli c\u0327at\u0131s\u0327malar yas\u0327ayacak, birileriyle ebeveynlerini c\u0327ekis\u0327tirecekler. Ebeveynin go\u0308revi yine orada var olmak, c\u0327ocuk geri do\u0308ndu\u0308g\u0306u\u0308nde onu kars\u0327\u0131lamak olacak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bunlar hep so\u0308ylemesi yapmas\u0131ndan kolay olan konular.<br>Acaba kars\u0327\u0131lamalar\u0131 beklenen tu\u0308m bu ihtiyac\u0327lar, her ebeveynin ic\u0327 du\u0308nyas\u0131nda nereye oturuyor, nas\u0131l izdu\u0308s\u0327u\u0308mler yarat\u0131yor?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"wp-block-preformatted\">Foto\u011fraf, Ferdinand Stohr, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.unsplash.com\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"www.unsplash.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Unsplash<\/a>.<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ebeveynlig\u0306in mu\u0308kemmel deg\u0306il, Winnicott&#8217;un deyimiyle &#8220;yeterince iyi&#8221; olmas\u0131 yeterlidir. Hatalar ve kusurlar olur, olmal\u0131d\u0131r da, c\u0327u\u0308nku\u0308 bebeklerin\/c\u0327ocuklar\u0131n bas\u0327ar\u0131l\u0131 ve bas\u0327ar\u0131s\u0131z olabilen, gu\u0308c\u0327lu\u0308 ve zay\u0131f olabilen, dog\u0306ru ve yanl\u0131s\u0327 yapabilen kis\u0327ilere ihtiyac\u0327lar\u0131 vard\u0131r. Hayat yolculuklar\u0131nda mekanik bir mu\u0308kemmellikten deg\u0306il, bundan yararlan\u0131rlar. Kritik olan, mu\u0308mku\u0308n oldug\u0306unca tutarl\u0131 ve o\u0308ngo\u0308ru\u0308lebilir olmak. Dig\u0306er tu\u0308rlu\u0308su\u0308 c\u0327ocukta kafa kar\u0131s\u0327\u0131kl\u0131g\u0306\u0131 yarat\u0131r. &#8220;Bunun [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":555,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=552"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":556,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552\/revisions\/556"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/555"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cekirdekgunluk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}